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[fuck1ngusernam3]

Beep. Whatever. 

Comments

[bleps]

I hope that’s not the case. And if it is, I hope she’s late to discover it.

[rest in pieces connor and hank, otherwise]

It’s settled, then, unless you have any other concerns?

[fuck1ngusernam3]

nah thx 4 tellin me

[bleps]

Of course.

[He could leave it at that. But Connor, letting nothing go, always wanting to approach what he perceives might be an issue, continues.]

Can I ask you something unrelated to the deviant issue?

[fuck1ngusernam3]

gimme the over under on whether im gonna hate watevr ur abt 2 bring up

[bleps]

I don’t think that’s a very fair assumption to make.

[Even if it’s correct in this case. But Connor doesn’t like the idea that whatever he says, Hank is just going to assume it’s something he doesn’t want to talk about.]

[fuck1ngusernam3]

dont u guys analyze history n patterns n shit. cuz i do. n my analysis says 🤖 💬 🤬

[bleps]

😒

Why have you been avoiding me?

[Fine. Blunt-force trauma frankness.]

[fuck1ngusernam3]

🤨y r u emoji ing at me

[bleps]

[The actual answer? Because emojis have become more prevalent in text exchanges with his closer friends, thus affecting Connor’s own tendencies.

The answer that Hank gets—]

Why are you avoiding the question? 😕

[fuck1ngusernam3]

b/c the questions dumb did we have big plans or sumthin i skipped out on

[bleps]

No, but there’s a difference between expressly avoiding me versus not actively seeking me out. Just as if there’s a difference between that and not making an effort to do either.

[He’s noticed, Hank. Did you think, maybe, that he wouldn’t?]

Our last conversation bothered you.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

lot of our conversations bother me ys that weird was i supposed 2 b callin u up evry day 2 ask if ud come play

[bleps]

No, but I’d rather not there be contention in the air between us, especially if I'm ignorant of what the cause could be.

What did I say or do that made you uncomfortable, Hank? At least tell me so I can avoid it in the future.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

im gonna b real w u connor i dont have a fuckin clue how 2 explain so can we just skip it. u want me 2 idk text u 1x every day so u kno im not mad at u or watevr b/c i can do that

[bleps]

Can you try to explain it to me? Please.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

[It's a minute - a few minutes - before Hank's able to figure out a safe way to say it.]

things just got p heavy u kno. n that wasnt the 1st time. theres no reason 4 all that so. srsly tho wat was it that made u feel all wtf ever happens in ur head nsted of feelings i rlly didnt think ud take it as a however u took it

[bleps]

[what]

Are you questioning why I’d be concerned for you? We’ve had this conversation before.

Or are you saying that you’d like to avoid serious discussions with me?

[fuck1ngusernam3]

1. lets put a hold on this topic ok

2. ye

3. wat did i do that made u ask y i was mad in the 1st place

[It's constructive criticism time Connor, time to tell Hank how to hide his shit better.]

[bleps]

[Oh, are we doing a list now? Maybe that’ll make Hank’s messages make actual sense, instead of circling around the same issue.]

1. If I drop it now, it’ll remain an issue. You won’t be the one to bring it up again.

2. While I can understand your hesitation, I’m not going to constantly be searching for dour or serious topics to talk to you about, Hank. The last time we spoke, it was simply necessary.

3. You normally text me once in a while. Even if it’s not consistent, there hasn’t been a stretch of days where I don’t hear from you at all — until recently. The same goes with seeing you in person. The Temple isn’t very large, Hank. You have to be making an effort to avoid seeing a certain face altogether, especially since I briefly looked for you on more than one occasion.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

[Sorry, Connor. The list goes out the window as all those points of Connor's can be answered with one important one from Hank.]

i kno u think its necessary but i cant deal ok. is that wat u wanted 2 hear? i cant deal with ANY of this n adding all those NECESSARY talks on top of it just makes shit worse. u can make me feel bad abt avoiding u all u want but i can only take so much ok

[bleps]

[Connor doesn’t have a swift reply to that, not this time. The delay is prominent, indicative of how reading it grants him hesitation — was his last talk with Hank more detrimental than anything else? To the point where he simply didn’t want anything to do with him at all?

What happened to the idea of friendship?]

It isn’t always going to be like that. I was just concerned for you — anyone who considers you a friend would be.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

idk man every1 seemed ok w me b4 u came along

u say its not always gonna b like that but

look can u just b concerned more quietly. not everything needs 2 b talked abt

[bleps]

[Did they? Was everyone just all right with Hank’s self-destructive behavior? Was anyone even close enough to the man to care?

But Connor, now he wonders if he’s stepped over a like he wasn’t supposed to cross. If he’s being too presumptuous — but friends are supposed to help each other, right? He knows, that when Hank gets like that, when Hank talks to him like that the way he did, leaving him alone is the worst option. He needs someone to talk to, someone to be there.

Even if Connor feels useless in knowing he can’t do more than that.]

I suppose so. But being communicative about what’s bothering you is better than holing yourself up in your room and keeping it to yourself. Even if it’s not me, you should find someone else to reach out to when you start to feel bad.

[It hurts a little to type that, but it’s necessary.]

[fuck1ngusernam3]

[If it’s not Connor he opens up to it’s not going to he anyone. Hank knows that. Connor’s seen the worst of him already, whether Hank wanted him to or not, the kind of stuff no one else is allowed to know. But you know what? It shouldn’t be Connor either, who sees all that. It’s Hank’s fucking business.]

look i kno u got programmed 2 say all the right after school special shit abt feeling ur feelings n opening up sharing is caring wtf ever. but thats not wat life is. u got no idea. u got no fuckin idea so just let me do wat i need 2 do n the rest of the time ill talk 2 u all u want. ok

[bleps]

[He can’t help Hank if he keeps drawing a line in the sand. He can’t continue to climb over the same steel wall over and over again, just to be pushed away so consistently. As much as Connor tries, and keeps trying, and keeps trying, he knows that the other has to be receptive for any progress to be made.

Maybe he can’t. Maybe being what he is — just an android — stops Hank from taking that outstretched hand. Sees only his want to help as artificial, insincere. Has Connor given him a reason to believe otherwise?

It’s hardly fair.]

I don’t know what you want, Lieutenant. What you feel and what you say contradict each other. I don’t know what to prioritize, beyond my own personal want to help you cope with these new circumstances.