Yeah, uh, we're not soldiers either. We don't fight in wars, we don't execute people. [Hank makes a face. Gross.] We just try to figure out who broke laws. That's all. We don't uh, multitask like I guess your guys do.
Yeah, that's it. Making judgement calls about who dies, who goes to jail, who didn't do it at all, none of that's my job. And honestly, at the end of the day, I'm kind of glad it's not.
Well, yeah, usually they are. If I’m doing my job right, they are. And the arresting part, that I can do. But the rest of it? I don’t know, there’re times where I could of locked people up for the rest of their lives and thrown away the key and slept better for it, so. It’s probably for the best that sort of thing’s not my call.
[At first, Konoha just kind of... looks at him. For all he said a lot of grumpy things, acted kind of tough and... to be honest, a bit rude sometimes... That seems really responsible.
Not the... wanting to just lock people up and forget about them part, but the... knowing you were the type to do that and therefore taking steps to not do it part. She's kind of impressed! ... Which, as usual, shows a bit too easily on her features, but.
She looks at Sumo and kind of gestures like. Look at your dad.]
Well, I think that's good for a "cop"...
[... Even if she doesn't know much about modern coppery. Shh.]
Well, thanks. I do okay at meeting the absolute minimum standards it takes to be a half-decent cop, if I do say so myself.
How’s Sumo treating you? [Hank lifts his chin, the gesture sort of pointing at his dog. Sumo’s chill right now, his head laid down, probably about to sleep off all that meat.] Still making you nervous?
[At the question, though, she does actually consider it, hooves scraping on the floor as she shifts to allow her to reach his back legs, scratching above his hips to watch how his tail wags slowly. ... That's cute.]
A little, but- I think he's my favorite dog in the Temple. There's Naga, but she's bigger than I am... and Koromaru, but... he looks kind of like the dogs I'm used to, so...
[A little too close for comfort, whereas Sumo doesn't look like any kind of dog she's ever seen before.]
- Actually, I guess Connor is my favorite, when he turns into a dog, but that probably doesn't count.
Hank sighs and leans back and runs his tongue over his teeth.]
Hey, Konoha. If you were, uh, if you’d hypothetically had it up to here with all this weird shit and then someone went and handed you more wacky cartoon bullshit, would you ask about it? Cause uh, I really can’t figure put what to even say to that. ‘Oh, the android who can suddenly poof into a cloud of fairy dust and come out as man’s best friend absolutely counts as a dog, that’s fine’ is that what I’m supposed to suck it up and say?
[Hank laughs, a shaken, incredulous noise, and rubs his fingers against his eyes. Konoha picked exactly the right morning to tell Hank what Connor’s special power is.]
... I just kind of try and not think about, to be honest.
[It's not like she doesn't get it. She's had it up to here with all the weird shit since... literally her first day. It's been confusion city since then and that hasn't stopped, so... What else can she do?]
The answer is always either "magic" or "technology", and I don't know either of those things, so I just... pretend like it's okay and it makes sense. I don't know how Connor becomes a dog and then a man again... but he does, I saw it, so. I just have to believe it.
And you didn't even know what a robot was when you got here. Fuck, you should be losing it. Everyone here should. Just another reason none of this can be fuckin real.
Okay, fuck. Fuck. What the hell were we talkin about? Nice, normal conversation time with the mythical horse girl. We were talkin about dogs, right? Koro and that fuckin polar bear?
Konoha's cheeks puff up in frustration, annoyed at Hank's insistence that he was hallucinating, that this wasn't real, that she wasn't real... And he wasn't actually listening at all???
With a small heave, Konoha pulls herself back to her hooves... and leans down to pick up Sumo, huffily (yet gently) pulling him up onto her shoulder as effortlessly as she had the first time they'd met.]
Let's not, then. I was just trying to be your friend, but since I'm just a hallucination, I'll be taking this hallucination and going on our way then.
[Hank opens his mouth - then closes it again. Sumo's shifting around, confused, looking around and trying to get some purchase on her with his back paws. There's a small chance his nails might scratch at her a little when he does it but Hank knows it'll be a little while before Sumo tries seriously to get down, and that she probably could carry his dog all the way to her room, wherever it is, without much of a problem.]
Konoha...
[Hank doesn't know if the word's an apology or a protest, but it's as much of either as Hank's going to give. He can't help but think of last night, Hank finally convincing Connor to leave him alone with his own bullshit and watching the door shut behind him, and he just doesn't have it in him to try to placate her into not being mad at him, or to badger her until she lets Sumo stay. If she's going to leave and take her friendship - and Hank's dog, the only real company he has - with her, the last thing Hank is going to do is stop her.
He ducks his head, rubbing the heel of his hand against his forehead and muttering tiredly.]
Whatever. Do whatever the fuck you want, who gives a shit.
[Sumo will come back after a while anyway, so. Fuck it.]
[She almost stays when he says her name, thinking it might become an apology- or at least a protest. At least then he might be acknowledging that she existed, that if she took the dog away a real dog would be going away, not some... hallucination.
But no. Lip trembling, Konoha waits, but he just curses and digs his damn heels in and refuses to face the facts. That they're stuck in this place with other people from other worlds, and while she might have been completely fine with his shock and disbelief at her existence the first time they met-]
I give a shit. Because I'm a real person, with real feelings, not a figment of your imagination!
[And with that... She clops out the door, completely heedless of the fact that Sumo actually is scratching her a little bit, not wanting to be in sight in case she did start to cry, shooting back a last,]
Let me know when you decide this whole place isn't just all about you!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[During the wars, well... That's a whole different story.]
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[She guesses that makes enough sense?]
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[It had sounded tough to her to have to handle patrolling and catching criminals and keeping them in prison and executing them...]
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[He shrugs.]
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[Konoha... liked to think that that meant they were bad people.]
Someone has to arrest them...
[Is that fucking up people's lives?]
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Not the... wanting to just lock people up and forget about them part, but the... knowing you were the type to do that and therefore taking steps to not do it part. She's kind of impressed! ... Which, as usual, shows a bit too easily on her features, but.
She looks at Sumo and kind of gestures like. Look at your dad.]
Well, I think that's good for a "cop"...
[... Even if she doesn't know much about modern coppery. Shh.]
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How’s Sumo treating you? [Hank lifts his chin, the gesture sort of pointing at his dog. Sumo’s chill right now, his head laid down, probably about to sleep off all that meat.] Still making you nervous?
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[At the question, though, she does actually consider it, hooves scraping on the floor as she shifts to allow her to reach his back legs, scratching above his hips to watch how his tail wags slowly. ... That's cute.]
A little, but- I think he's my favorite dog in the Temple. There's Naga, but she's bigger than I am... and Koromaru, but... he looks kind of like the dogs I'm used to, so...
[A little too close for comfort, whereas Sumo doesn't look like any kind of dog she's ever seen before.]
- Actually, I guess Connor is my favorite, when he turns into a dog, but that probably doesn't count.
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Hank sighs and leans back and runs his tongue over his teeth.]
Hey, Konoha. If you were, uh, if you’d hypothetically had it up to here with all this weird shit and then someone went and handed you more wacky cartoon bullshit, would you ask about it? Cause uh, I really can’t figure put what to even say to that. ‘Oh, the android who can suddenly poof into a cloud of fairy dust and come out as man’s best friend absolutely counts as a dog, that’s fine’ is that what I’m supposed to suck it up and say?
[Hank laughs, a shaken, incredulous noise, and rubs his fingers against his eyes. Konoha picked exactly the right morning to tell Hank what Connor’s special power is.]
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... I just kind of try and not think about, to be honest.
[It's not like she doesn't get it. She's had it up to here with all the weird shit since... literally her first day. It's been confusion city since then and that hasn't stopped, so... What else can she do?]
The answer is always either "magic" or "technology", and I don't know either of those things, so I just... pretend like it's okay and it makes sense. I don't know how Connor becomes a dog and then a man again... but he does, I saw it, so. I just have to believe it.
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[He takes a second, taking a heavy breath.]
And you didn't even know what a robot was when you got here. Fuck, you should be losing it. Everyone here should. Just another reason none of this can be fuckin real.
Okay, fuck. Fuck. What the hell were we talkin about? Nice, normal conversation time with the mythical horse girl. We were talkin about dogs, right? Koro and that fuckin polar bear?
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[As much as she kind of wants to seize on the chance to just talk about dogs...]
I really don't think I'm creative enough or smart enough to make up all this stuff... Like you said, I didn't even know about robots... So.
[She hates it, she does, but... She just stares down at Sumo kind of simply, her petting hands slowing.]
... Are you really going to keep thinking you're just crazy or hallucinating?
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Why the hell not? It's funny, you sayin that like there's another fucking option there.
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[She looks up from Sumo in order to look at Hank, brows knit together in concern.]
You think I'm not real?
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You're kidding, right? You looked in a mirror lately?
Ah, fuck it.
[He sighs, the grin fading as suddenly as it came.]
I already made one hallucination cry this week, and I really don't wanna go down that road with you. So. Let's not. Okay?
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Konoha's cheeks puff up in frustration, annoyed at Hank's insistence that he was hallucinating, that this wasn't real, that she wasn't real... And he wasn't actually listening at all???
With a small heave, Konoha pulls herself back to her hooves... and leans down to pick up Sumo, huffily (yet gently) pulling him up onto her shoulder as effortlessly as she had the first time they'd met.]
Let's not, then. I was just trying to be your friend, but since I'm just a hallucination, I'll be taking this hallucination and going on our way then.
[... This is now a dognapping.]
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Konoha...
[Hank doesn't know if the word's an apology or a protest, but it's as much of either as Hank's going to give. He can't help but think of last night, Hank finally convincing Connor to leave him alone with his own bullshit and watching the door shut behind him, and he just doesn't have it in him to try to placate her into not being mad at him, or to badger her until she lets Sumo stay. If she's going to leave and take her friendship - and Hank's dog, the only real company he has - with her, the last thing Hank is going to do is stop her.
He ducks his head, rubbing the heel of his hand against his forehead and muttering tiredly.]
Whatever. Do whatever the fuck you want, who gives a shit.
[Sumo will come back after a while anyway, so. Fuck it.]
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But no. Lip trembling, Konoha waits, but he just curses and digs his damn heels in and refuses to face the facts. That they're stuck in this place with other people from other worlds, and while she might have been completely fine with his shock and disbelief at her existence the first time they met-]
I give a shit. Because I'm a real person, with real feelings, not a figment of your imagination!
[And with that... She clops out the door, completely heedless of the fact that Sumo actually is scratching her a little bit, not wanting to be in sight in case she did start to cry, shooting back a last,]
Let me know when you decide this whole place isn't just all about you!
[... She'd bring Sumo back later, though.]